So I took doubt to the page.
One therapeutic journaling technique I use is called Dialogue. It’s a written conversation between different parts of ourselves, like our inner self and our Higher Self.
The idea isn’t just to write down what’s bothering us. It’s to engage with it. To ask questions, challenge the stories we’re telling ourselves, and allow the conversation to unfold until we begin to see what’s really going on.
And that’s exactly what happened.
What started as one little seed of doubt had spread into all sorts of other areas. As I worked through them, one by one, I began to uncover what was really underneath it all.
Here’s a little peek into what unfolded on my page.
Higher Self: Hi, Cookie.
Me: Oof.
Higher Self: What’s up?
Me: Doubt snuck in, and it’s weighing on me.
Higher Self: I see the tears. Doubt squeezes you.
Me: Yeah, I don’t like pressure.
Higher Self: What’s the doubt?
Me: All sorts. Before I wrote this, meaning as I’m writing right now, I just started doubting therapeutic journaling, and that’s crazy because I swear by it.
Higher Self: I know, doubt is contagious. Let’s get into it.
… Here I bring lots of complaints, and the dialogue goes through them one by one. At one point, I even say I don’t think the writing is helping.
Higher Self: Perfect. Now we’re getting somewhere. When we’ve hit the spot of the most resistance, the tension breaks it, if it doesn’t break you.
Me: Very poetic, but I don’t feel it or see it.
… I continue unraveling what was weighing on me, until we return to the original doubt.
Higher Self: So what is it?
Me: It was that first seed of doubt. I mean, it’s true. What do I know about the nitty-gritty of food plans?
Higher Self: You don’t need to know physiology. You know the process. You know how to test a process. Trust the process. You do it with yourself.
Me: I’m starting to hear you.
Higher Self: There’s always stuff, all kinds of stuff, and there’s even good stuff.
Me: Funny, I just got asked this week: How do I not get weighed down by other people’s baggage?
Higher Self: Well, if you help them hold it and not carry it for them, if you share your wisdom for them to deal with it themselves, and you remember it’s theirs.
Me: So what happened here?
Higher Self: You forgot (because doubt scared you) that the person has all the answers within, even regarding their food plan. Your job is to help them clear the noise, get quiet enough, usually through the page, to hear it.
Me: Right. It’s not about the number or the plan, but what?
The birur. The uncovering of truth.
The dialogue continued, and eventually I wrote my takeaway. Literally, T-A-K-E-A-W-A-Y:
T – Therapeutic journaling is a gift. It aligns, re-centers, and
A – Allows one to see the truth,
K – ‘Cause it ain’t easy. Life is blurry; the mind, wow. But,
E – Even when everything seems unclear, the
A – Answer always lies inside.
W – Whether it is accessible or not, I know the truth. I am okay,
A – And I’m good at what I do. I’m not supposed to have all the answers; I’m just supposed to be me.
Y – Yes, I just need to be me.
